Mind Hijacking

Posted: May 24, 2012 in Awareness & Self Development
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Previously, I wrote about the many concerns to facets of fear we encounter on many levels from the beginning of our lives until the reality of its end, and it was astounding to engage with thoughtful people about this subject, online or  occasionally offline, and regardless to what consequences we approach, or understandings we tailor, each and everyone one of us behave towards fear in the way they see fit, and regardless to what our fears chronicle to connect to, our minds will never stop astonishing us with the way they perceive, function and react.

For example, It may seem like there is no relation between an addiction to gambling and making sure of being present at a certain sporting event, or even as simple as the enthusiasm of investing in the stock market from the comforts of your home, but neurologists determined a relation between all activities composed by human beings in spite of their differences, and according to recent discoveries, researchers believe that most, if not all human behaviors are subject to brain circuits formed in all living creatures and partakes development and progress with the different stages of growth, it is also responsible for appreciating rewards with animals, which in turn guarantees their survival! but for human beings, it includes social rewards and most human behaviors and decisions.

What’s amazes me about this new medical discovery is that, brain and neurological systems that spots, speculates, process’ and appraise those social rewards which consequently controls human decisions are actually functioning entirely away from the system and the conscious mind level.

This discovery comes as an obvious and clear challenge against the conviction and the belief that humans do make their own decisions regularly in their conscious minds, but researchers confirmed that most of the brain functions are in the level of the subconscious mind, and where research has begun tens of years ago in relation to that discovery. Psychologists studied the action of processing information within the subconscious mind in the shape of effects that occurred without realization, sense and conscious, and their role in forming human decisions and behaviors.

Scientists truly started drawing a detailed map for parts of the brain responsible for such process, and they believe that this is the first time in the history of this science to discover how those brain circuits really function.

Dr. Gregory Berns, a psychologist in Emory university, said: “I believe that most human decisions are made in the subconscious mind, with different levels of awareness towards it”. He also said: “I do not exactly recall how I reached to work this morning” indicating that the conscious mind saves more important matters. But how does the mind decide which things it needs to focus the conscious mind on?

The brain begins to thrive from the first days of beholding life depending on what we observe and experience, the brain then, builds an internal model for everything eyes fall on and ears hear, gradually learning how to identify with different matters and predicting the behavior expected out of them. In the case of accepting new information from our surroundings to the brain, it will accordingly begin comparing this new information in alignment with the already existing internal model, if it matches – such as driving a car to work or passing through the daily life trends with no comments – those repeated familiar scenes do not reach the conscious mind.

But in the case of a surprise, such as witnessing a road accident, there will be distinction between what is to be expected and what really happened! Thus immediately adapting to a new state of reality. The brain saves information according to experiences acquired during its life span, those reference information, the brain relies on them for making decisions, but this information on its own is a collection of what eyes have seen and ears have heard, and is lived by humans without realizing we store information in our subconscious mind.

Researchers also discovered a chemical substance that is responsible for controlling the mind circuit called ‘Dopamine’ and in the case of matching an event with what is expected, dopamine produces expected quantities for such events. But in the case of a surprise more than the expected event, dopamine will produce  a lot more quantities while sending signals to parts of the brain in order to motivate  them to process the information and do the required action in the purpose of creating more of the mentioned substance.

In other cases where events become worse than what is expected, the brain does not produce dopamine, to which results in feelings of frustration and unwillingness, to move or work,  due to low dopamine levels in the system.

Dr. Jonathan Cohen a neurologist and brain scientist, studied a part of the frontal cortex called Anterior Cingulate, this part of the brain checks for truth in information and uncovers any contradictions in information flow that enters the brain naturally and by definition. There was even other new brain studies confirming the role of dopamine in the front part of the brain for creating a sudden ecstasy or disappointment and frustration.

Scientists eventually confirmed that the mathematical equations used by economical scientists to study and understand the changes in market economies, is the same mathematical equations used by psychologists and neurologists to study and understand the changes of dopamine substance, Dr. Read Montague from Baylor University confirmed that neurology and brain sciences can offer a new set of factors, totally innovative in offering an understanding to the way economical decisions are made.

All this confirms a known fact which is the role of surrounding environments and their effects in the making of our minds, thoughts and decisions, and so, environments where we live, notice, see, hear and breath, who we mingle with and even what we read, are only factors that assists humans to make their own decision, and functions without perception, sense or realization by the conscious mind. even if we were able to choose what we hear, read and see, or who we associate ourselves with, but to every conscious decision there are consequences and effects that function without the recognition, sense or awareness to form a mental and psychological reference that makes decisions and future behaviors.

And here, I seriously stop to ask some questions, as individual and communities: What is the role of countless studied and researched information, flooded on us day and night, spoon fed by mainstream medias, with plans and calendars, never belonged to our nature? What is the role of all this in making our minds and communities unable to make independent or better yet… unified decisions?

An antithesis of Fear

Posted: May 21, 2012 in Awareness & Self Development
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Balance is a common destination in any action, reaction, motion, thought or emotion we embrace. When we look far and near within realities that we exist in, we can always preview examples of balance surrounding elements of our lives; whenever there is vile, you will find virtue, wherever death comes, you will find birth, and every darkness has a light.

As humans with constant fears in our lives, it is only wise to differentiate between two kinds of fears, according to their results and followed consequences; Negative fears that outgrew from physiological, psychological and mental chain reactions we discussed in the previous post. But there is positive fear to the equation that bestow more than physiological, mental and psychological benefits, including, but not limited to increasing activity and energy, that advocates for progress and success.

I already mentioned types of negative fears that can be inhabited by children through many false practiced methods included in their upbringing. But, what about positive fear? where can we define and find a positive approach to such ongoing dilemma, and before we go further in analyzing how to bargain a positive element in fear, we need to establish a need for such bargain, and since we are vulnerable towards facing our own fears, what can positive fear give to abolish such dilemma? can we create balance even with an emotion such as fear?

Personally, I consider the only element of a positive emotion opposing our ongoing fears can only be inspired by a divine power, some people might consider that to be a fierce leader, a king or even a spiritual master, but they can’t be more than sinful humans, just like any of us, with fears deeper than I could ever imagine (I could take a guess!). But if I to fear a divine power, it would be a righteous harmony to the one giving this mortal body an immortal soul, thus my restful will confides in an almighty fear, leading towards accomplished salutary, versed with powerful peace.

The main reason to this anomaly in fear of a divine power has its specifications and properties instilled in humans with a distinct quality, value and quantity, as well as conditions that cannot be accepted without it, nor would the outcomes be complete.

One of the main conditions to complete positive fear effects, is to accomplish the aim of our existence, whether by promoting, motivating and working towards righteous deeds and  rebuilding earth for what it lost, by defenders of falsehood, with that, fear becomes a positive force that motivates hardship, perfection, creativity and the emancipation of humans from earthly unjust constrains towards divine and just laws.

There are certainly many ways that we can seek to face our negative fears, some of us are even strong enough to face them by themselves, others deny them, and many were battered by them. But when employing the fear of a just divine power, we can only turn back and plea for its advocacy, such a balance can only lead to abolish all negative fears, against one mighty impartial fear.

Spiritual submission and plea have different effects from those out of negative fear, as it leads to physiological changes named (Parasympathetic) by medical scientists, deriving reduced blood pressure & heart beats, relaxes muscles and psychological, neural systems, which is exactly the opposite of what arises with negative fear.

If fear is allied with spiritual submission, balance is created between both of their effects, by protecting humans from negative outcomes that would happen, should one side becomes imbalanced with the other.

False Evidence Appearing Real

Posted: May 17, 2012 in Awareness & Self Development
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Every once and a while, I am eager to an unforeseeable chance, to have a long lasting talk with one of my dearest friends about different aspects of human psychology; I recently found myself asking about something I consider to be one of the most common psychological cancers, escalating in different shapes around the world.

And after considerable time for research, questioning, reflecting and discussion, I concluded that psychological diseases are becoming an increasing  common widespread, and where fear is the main driving force behind such diseases and existing disorders. However, official statistics do not reflect such conclusion!

But it is only fair to say that a lot of doctors in psychology sciences agree to such statement; fear became a phenomenon in many communities due to varied reasons, one of which is the existence of false practices in the upbringing of children, due to parental ignorance in such matters, and where many of them take wrong approaches by practicing intimidation against their children, affirming such practices to be in favor of their children’s protection, keeping them away from any unforeseen risks; it can be the easiest way to dealing with smart and active children eager to discover the world around them! but being overprotective is the worst way for upbringing, by planting seeds of unjustified and paramount fears, those fears stay rooted in the psychology and mentality of individuals throughout their lives, curving them from becoming courageous and passionate human beings searching for knowledge, becoming disengaged people, with no initiative or drive, afraid to search, and try unaccustomed approaches, to be creative, invent or discover.

“Fear can be caused by an incident or a drastic situation experienced by children and not followed by a healthy approach of fondle, lacking the necessary knowledge, wisdom or awareness needed for proper parenting”.

According to psychologists, such disorders or diseases are an increasing epidemic within oppressed populations, subjected to mistreatment and injustice, which in turn, creates inner fears within people, regardless if it may or may not be justified, reaching extreme stages where brothers fear each other and sons fear their fathers, some are even scared of their own shadow! In such environments, individuals are vulnerable being exposed to deep psychological diseases, it was even found that the spread and intensity of such disorders are rapidly increasing with growing levels of oppression in different countries of the world.

they also found that, parents who suffered from different levels of fear in their past, will likely reflect it on their children, even in the silence of unspoken words and their stillness before their movement, children pick up on parents emotions and embrace them in their own primitive imagination, to translate life and everything revolved around them, in order to become a psychological reference throughout their lives and the window they see the world with. Those fears can be inherited from generation to other, there are even evidence and studies indicating the possibility of many inherited fears, that are passed throughout hundreds of years ago, and where research is still to be continued…

Fear is an enemy to human progress, development and creativity, and nations that has increasing reasons to have fear, become paralyzed, unable to succeed progress and be creative or even original.

And in order to explain the role of fear in controlling human behavior we need to understand how does fear affect our physiological, neural and mind system.

Regardless to the kind of fear we encounter, the natural physiological reflex is blood flowing from different body organs to the muscle system such as the legs and arms, to assist humans in situations of escape, running, self defense or fight, if the reflex was unwanted, unsuitable or convenient for the event or situation, this kind of natural physiological reflex is clinically called (Sympathetic system) associated with many other changes such as, high blood pressure and heart beats, amongst other physiological changes that would be necessary in some events or situations! although it is psychologically harmful with recurrent of a certain event or situation on long periods of time, the neural system controlling emotions in the brain will motivate the body to produce hormones to help them be in a preparation state, and forces humans to direct their mind power and concentration at the fear center of the brain while overlooking everything that follows from information and data to be perceived.

The brain relays on analyzing events and situations depending on specific information that limits the process of thinking, which is another image of “temporary” stupidity or specified by time or place, but this temporary fear can become a chronic disorder and an intellectual paralysis, that is why we see nations in fear, being overwhelmed with intellectual paralysis, defects, fatigue and weakness, and where success, creativity and progress is truly rare.

A Double Edged Sword

Posted: May 14, 2012 in Awareness & Self Development, Thinking negative doing positive
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Debates are a natural cause of having different point of views, and in many circumstances they end up with many loose ends, other times however, a developed shape of arguments can occur, either by disagreements, miscommunications and lack of hearing one another…

One night, I found myself being part of a debate, a table was there, different kind of drinks, an ashtray that has been put into good use, as the heat of discussion arises, it was as if we had our own miniature U.N meeting!

If women are to be leaders of this world, we won’t charter the wars we had and continue to have throughout the history of mankind!!!

at first and like most people around that table, had already agreed to this conclusion, without further elaboration…One can even say that, because women are more sensitive to issues of humanity, appointing women into leadership roles would have living effects to a more sensible world, others might even concur, that women have better judgment scales in many matters and situations than men, even statistically speaking, women proved to have better social judgments, and regardless if we agree to all, some or even none of the above, one must approach the subject from many different perspectives.

At first, we need to establish what reality we are dealing with when it comes to today’s leaders of the world…

“You gotta make the money first, then, when you get the Money, you get the power, when you get the Power, then you get the Women”

-Tony Montana (Movie:Scarface)

In a nutshell, he explained the hierarchy of thinking for most world leaders of today and throughout history. But that also explains the manly perspective of leadership!

What about women then? had they gotten their chance from the beginning of time to become Adam’s Eve, would they have done what men already did and continue to do, will they be driven by greed, only to become fanatics of power, to get us Men. Or will there be peace and harmony, like the one we find in our mothers, wife’s and maybe even our daughters, the future moms of tomorrow!

In theory, we have just about 200 countries in this world of today, again in theory, lets consider that Women are to be leaders of the world we know could exist, it would be fair to say, that a handful of countries would be led by Men, that in mind, I can only remember Tony’s remarkable theory on how to gain power for those scattered bunch. Was it money or women, I guess you’re the judge of that!!!

The fact is, we were and still are being a systematized gender racist human beings, we were brought up to live with racial profiling, and the ability to even imagine and embrace situations beyond racial discrimination, the fact is both genders have egos, rights and demands to be protected, and no matter how we flip the coin to see the answer, we always forget that the basis of successful conclusions is communications, mutual respect and understanding, once we are able to address issues with such attitudes and away from all the weaknesses we project on each other by profiling parties into different boxes.

History always had its funny ways of showing us how we always believe in absolute truths and proved us to be otherwise! For instance, the famous Titanic ship sank in the sea, when its makers had absolutely confirmed ‘on many occasions’ that, it would be impossible for this ship to sink! Hitting that iceberg and drowning its 2000+ passengers was like a check of reality on how things might go wrong with one simple ‘everyday’ expectation or judgment.

There were many studies made to understand the reasons why this ship sank, and many analysts directed the blame to the captain of the ship (Smith), refusing to accept any other excuse, since the captain has the higher hand and final decision taking abilities, and where being disobedient to his orders, are to be punishable by law.

So what are the captains mistakes in judgment of the dangers to sudden floating icebergs and the required time to correct the distentions direction once the iceberg was spotted? A question that still baffles many researchers, although a handful of them, believed that his long extensive experience of more than 40 years were one of the main  reasons of the captains mistakes.

How did that happen? How can experience work against its owner after it has worked in their benefit all those years. Experience comes as a result of concluding lessons and examples from events and situations!

In the case of dealing with recurrent situations and events connected to collaborative theories and inputs thus concluding a pattern or an example to deal with similar situations and events in the future.

With the increasing repeat of similar situations and events, roots out extracted examples and patters to form an essential mental and psychological reference in decision making similar to a hard drive in a computer. Experience plays a very efficient role in speeding the analysis of an event, situation or interaction to deal with, through viewing and comparing formed examples and patterns to the decision making references. The similarity in an event or a situation in incidents and past experiences, provides similar reaction, and here lies the danger!

When a similar event or situation occurred in past experiments and events, but is still different from them in theory or inputs of it occurrence, or when a totally different event or situation would happen with previous experiments and events, will overcome the decision maker’s psychological and mental references, originated as a result of their long experience, and so they interact with new events similar to the way they react to previous others, assuming the ability of new events or situations to respond to the previous reactions, and here where the disaster happens, and this is where analysts believe that what happened in the case of the sinking Titanic ship, where long experiences of captain smith was with totally different ships than this particular one, and depending on that experience, he believed that the ship can properly correct its direction within time of seeing any icebergs, but he misjudged, as this ship was not like any others he drove, different in its speed, size and manufacturing, thus being slit by the other edge of the sword.

If we bring to bear the Titanic destiny as a reflective example to our communities, we can crop up many valuable lessons.

Circumstances that governed the mid 70’s (the boom) in our communities, left us with experiences that has roots controlled by theories and inputs that belonged to that period of time. However, in the new millennium all those theories and inputs had severely changed, but the references that formed it and was deepened by years of the boom in people of experience, had more influence for it to go through any change, unable to keep up with the rapid speed of such developments, and so situations change and ships alter, governed and pushed to reached its goals with factors, reasons and motives, while leading the helm with old references originated as an outcome from experiences of those booming years.

And to come closer to the essence of the subject, I will provide one of many examples.

During those booming days, projects were conducted with less studies and regardless to any cost, in the fastest way possible, because it involved massive profits, adding the time factor being the most important for success, at those times.

In today’s world, time factor should be chartered to allocate unique, specific and clear strategies with detailed planning, conducting intensive studies and focusing on the development of the processes to conduct projects and business and have the ability to manage them, and to find the proper experiences to attract in order to form successful projects and raise the quality of performance and services, and enjoy becoming distinguished from competition.

Yes, Captain Smith’s long experience played a contradictory part, and instead of setting sail on port, it sat sail deep in the ocean, only within a couple of hours.

Hijacked Intelligence

Posted: May 9, 2012 in Awareness & Self Development
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Earlier, we identified Emotional Intelligence with certain abilities; as individuals it is our responsibility to embrace and realize our own private and personal feelings, in the attempt to manage and control them while motivating ourselves toward hard work, perceiving details, understanding and reflecting humane emotions and feeling for others, as well as the ability to handle and gain control over our personal relationships.

I came to an end by pointing out an important aspect in building our emotional intelligence, that has a great deal of troubling implications, and where many parents do not realize that emotional intelligence is formed during the first years of their child’s life, and that the effects of successful parenting in providing the proper environment, tools and flexibility has proven to develop children’s awareness levels.

Given the quality of a surrounding environment and interactions experienced by children, certain brain functions and neural signals are activated, and where neural signals and communications are strengthened with such motivational activities. Thus, having brain functions grow and develop. But when a suitable and a healthy environment is not provided to allow the growth of those functions in brain cells, they will become use-less and die, and often, that happens to children living the first years of their life in separation or unhealthy environments, unsuitable for their brain cells to grow healthy as a result to their families or communities lack of foresight to such matter.

Certainly, the brain does not only save or store information or specify children futuristic abilities, but also store all the emotions and feelings accompanied with events experienced by children, and has the ability to formulate the level of capabilities in interaction and how to handle and control them in a part of the brain called (Amygdala).

Scientific studies show that, a group of interactions and feelings experienced by children in their first days and not only years, constitute and originate a group of emotional lessons accompanying them throughout their lives as a strong and stable reference, and is well-established with their surroundings and the people around them, with its importance, influence and origin, but it is difficult for individuals to understand or analyze it, because it was already stored in the brain at early stages with primitive tools “unable to speak or analyze”. And that’s why when emotions evolve, the first impulse an individual does is an expression and or a reflection to those buried emotions, which at times can be mind boggling (experiencing awareness with such impulses) finished with an automated quick reaction, which is a process called (Brain Hijacking) in psychology.

Dr. Joseph Le Doux, a neurological scientist in New York University, is one of the first people to discover the important role of (Amygdala) in relation to the formation of brain actions, he explained how this ‘gland’ can control our actions at the time where the conscious mind is thinking to take a decision, and that is because neural signals are transmitted from this ‘gland’ first and fast, just before going to the conscious mind (Neocortex) which enables it to respond quickly before the conscious mind (that conducts an analysis of the actions in a rational studied way, suitable to the signal or event).

This is why this gland can react by its own without the assistance of the conscious mind, such reactions are emotional feelings that burst from people without any role from their conscious minds.

It was also found, that this gland grows rather rapidly in the stages of the mind formation of ‘the fetus’ until almost completed by the time of birth, unlike the rest of the brain, its functions are similar to that of a camera or a video recording everything that eyes scan consciously and in some cases, subconsciously, then stores it to form a psychological reference to the child of today, the men or women of tomorrow! that is why a psychologist would affirm the saying “give me the first 5 years of a child’s life, I give you a man”, expressing that, what defines our personalities and abilities is formed throughout the first handful of years of experiences in our life.

Communities not fortunate enough to have a proper education system that supports child creativity, will be shadowed with ignorance weaving over their children, unaware, unable to understand or realize. Noting that children can understand thousands of words before reaching the age of 5 years old, using only a small variety of them, as they speak ahead.

We all know that the most important influence on children’s lives are their parents, for they are their opposing mirror and window to life, if they opened that window and let the light in, their children’s hearts will light, if they shut those windows, preventing them to see the world, only through barriers and walls, throughout their lives…

Dear Parents: Your children’s future is trusted in your hands, they are like fertile land, what you plant in them today, you and your communities will reap tomorrow.

Are you Happy?

Posted: May 3, 2012 in Awareness & Self Development
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People ascertain happiness with many colorful fashions, humbled in perceptions of reality, and frequently aligned with resource stability, the lack of it, or its excess’ consciously and unconsciously, scaling those elements with the social components of each society we live in.

All those standards deviate by gambling on cultures that harbor such emotions, towards the pursuit of happiness, and to define what really assembles a state of happiness or at least ‘the need to be happy’ requires polishing certain perceptions bordering our lives, the way we reflect on them, interpret them, their actions and reactions, in association with our minds and into our lives; thus the need to ask questions, and bid to answer them with the most qualified honesty we can reflect individually, and only by ourselves…

What does being happy mean to you?

In order to understand this question and how to self answer it, we need to drill and analyze all the elements that fabricate this state of mind, while considering the components we brand with unhappy feelings, relieving doubt in recognizing pros and cons of each aspect we underline our emotions with.

But, when we are on a high rise of positive emotions, such as happiness, we tend to drift away from current details and events that would have been missed while engaging with such an emotion, subsequently affecting any stability levels we always strive to sustain during that pursuit. I remember as a child, being invited to a Christmas day party hosted by one of my fathers friends. I was really happy, excited and certainly busy accepting Christmas gifts, while being oblivious to a chocolate cake served to my older brother and sister.

A few days later, and after the hype of Christmas was gone; all that I was thinking of is that chocolate cake I have presumably ignored, since then, no matter how pleasing and distinctive people give fact to their chocolate cakes, all my senses respond: “Not as pleasant and titillating as that Christmas Chocolate Cake!”.

So, why do we choose what brings us to a state of happiness?

The moment we award a child with a new substance; out goes every other matter at that distinctive moment, leading them to a habit of attaching emotions on whims, followed by a structured process of learning and education that is bound to change our priorities as we grow older, orbiting around elements that made, make or will make us or others happy, and in some cases, even happier!

The moment happiness is altered to become a choice, we lose control of it somewhere after it becomes a useful routine, we surrender to its ecstasy, only to acknowledge it when lost, thus bringing measurable values, by which, defeating the purpose of sustainable happiness…

Having said that, I acknowledged that happiness or being happy is a state of mind, even when sometimes, if not most of the times, we attach tangible elements to this blessedness, only to find ourselves surrendering to a well known illustrious compass.

Can we be happy beyond any attachments?

Each individual has certain ‘abilities’ that can empower them to do whatever they set their minds to accomplish, and for us to actualize the means to our happiness, we need to have a better realization and understanding to our limitations, accepting them, learn from them, cultivate, and then change or breach them…

That bring us to a facet of intelligence, but this time, its not the usual I.Q kind of intelligence; scientists have finally realized that levels of our intelligence is not formed by statistics, questions or numbers, but the ability to identify, asses and control our emotions, forming what scientists call emotional intelligence. According to them, this type of intelligence contributes to 80% in the probability of success and failure in our practical lives, and where traditional intelligence (I.Q) contributes with only 20%.

But in order for us to realize the potential of our emotional intelligence, we need to have certain abilities…

1-      Our ability to realize and understand our private feelings:

Our capability in monitoring our psychological feelings as they occur, while understanding and realizing their cause, and appreciating their dimensions and fluctuations, are one of the most important pillars to develop our emotional intelligence. But when we are unable to understand such feelings and emotions when we encounter them, we become victims, like a hostage yielding under the mercy of our feelings and emotions, driven by fluctuations of surrounding circumstances and conditions.

But those who have a better understanding of their feelings, aware and confident with perceiving their emotions, are more able to manage and control their own lives, thus having more fortitude in their decisions.

2-      Our ability to manage and control our psychological feelings:

This ability cannot be attained until we are fully able to realize and understand our private feelings as explained previously . People who are unable to accomplish control over their feelings are always in a psychological battle and under a lot of stress.

But those who are able to have more control over their emotions are always able to stand up after they have fallen and try again, especially when they do not succeed, by defeating all obstacles and setbacks, and re-initiating work with an optimistic soul, ambition and with a bright positive view on life.

3-      Our ability to self motivate for work:

The ability to motivate ourselves, emotions and feelings to achieve goals while having complete control over impulses and desires, prioritizing work and delaying rest, are the most important factors to success, and the ability to engage at work with all emotions and feelings, are the most important factors of creativity.

4-      Our ability to notice, understand and reflect on humane emotions and feelings in others:

The ability to sympathies is one of the most important factors of success in human relationships. People with high capacity of sympathy are able to capture simple social changes in people around them and have full ability to understand their psychological feelings, thus having better execution in many areas of work that requires human interaction.

5-      Our ability to handle personal relationships and have control over them:

This ability is one of the main factors to success in life, a huge aspect of it, is the ability to control other people’s feelings (understanding their feelings and dealing with them).

This ability specifies how popular and accepted an individual really is, and their ability to lead. People with this ability are successful in everything they undertake with other people readily and easily, and are considered luminary in their fields of specialty.

On the other hand, many parents do not realize, know or acknowledge that those abilities begin to formulate in the early beginning of their child’s life, and what was then lost, neglected or suppressed are difficult to rectify in the years to follow. This is why successful parenting can build a child’s emotional intelligence towards a healthier and happier life.

Changing How your World Works

Posted: February 22, 2012 in Active Minority, Business talks, Travel, tourism & Me
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I remember the first time I took a real job back in 1999, a small boutique office located on the premises of a 5star hotel, serving as a travel agency and as a General Sales Agent for a reputed airline, it was boutique because it was a small red and white theme colored office, tucked in between the shades of luscious palm trees and murmurs of water fountains to greet passing travelers.

We were a 5 “sometimes 6″ employees operation. A manager was there, his assistant, me, the accountant (or the finance manager as believed frequently by himself) and particularly, an office-boy who is approximately 90+ years old. This office was located a minute of walk away from home, and so, that office quite often became a visiting spot to me as a child, while my father arranged for his travels. and so, I got to spend a lot of time watching the same travel agents servicing my father back then, becoming coworkers to me when I got tagged to adulthood later on.

Still watching the same office boy, with the same wrinkles (a couple of teeth less) while he frequently draw clueless smiles. I even remember his constant appeals to my father to bring some lemons from the tree we had back home, only to make some lemon tea for the office employees, and even as I grew older into that job, I kept on the legacy of lemon flow.

Aside from that, everything went as it should be, I started to learn how to interact with travelers more, I embraced a more professional attitude, answered some calls here and there, drank and served a lot of tea and coffee, and eventually made some sales. I even started to work for them without the need of a salary, and every now and then, the accountant (AKA. Finance Manager) would reach out and give me some money, and even though he gave it to me only to feed his egoistic bossy attitude, I was always appreciative to whatever I accomplished, no matter how small it was. A couple of fights later I quit my job for an attitude he threw at me, but we remained friends nevertheless. (he’s now serving time for embezzlement)

I realized the need for a mature management approach, something that would help me gain more skills, and be a little bit aggressive toward sales. The earlier job taught me how to be nice and shut up when my rights are abused, I now need someone who will at least pay to abuse those rights! only for me to discover a well seasoned travel mentor, who probably admired my tolerance, and tested it with smashing phones on walls, and broken chairs of frustration while popping pills to numb obsessive compulsive tendencies (Admitted and frequently announced and proved by himself) only for him to explode on the drums of my mistakes!!! (I quit that job before having a nervous breakdown)

Years go by, many suits and uniforms to wear and buy, the more I advance and grow the more I spent and the less I saved, but why is it when I raise, so does my expenses! Where are all those efficiency tactics?… in the meantime “Ah” I finally made it… My own company, an executive office, with all the latest technologies and protocols money could ever buy for any CEO to become even more successful. Spending 4 times the original budget, with a 2 year marathon path to obtain “Not one, or two…Not even three or four, but FIVE trading licenses” while searching for employees, training them for 6 months or was it 7…I wasn’t sure! it needed to take as much time as it needed for us to rebuild an office, redesign it again from scratch “Not once, but twice” and pay salaries for 20 individuals throughout the whole process, while freezing all operations until we are licensed to start. What do you get at the end…? spoiled Employees and Employers. And regardless of the many mistakes I have accomplished in those years. I realized …it was time for me to retire!

Its time to stop wasting my energy on people who do not want to learn, and start focusing on what I need to learn instead “because apparently, I know nothing” even with that corner office. Because only then I thought, after all those years of dealing with people, screening them, literally hunting or haunting them, training them, observing them, even sometimes try and nurture them, mentally, emotionally and financially, for what… for NOTHING.

now I am retired from my devilish advocates, what can I do; I don’t want to spend more money on lost causes, nor I even want to try. shall I search online…huh, I barely can trust people offline, and the though of searching for work or hiring people online makes me almost want to laugh! but apparently what I should’ve been doing is Cry! because the solution was right there in-front of me and I couldn’t even see it…

Countless, endless days fuzed with nights, a printed square on my lap, surfing and clicking on dreamy thoughts of a small ATM machine built into my laptop screen. and since I was already living a dream ‘retired at 30′ I thought to myself “it won’t hurt to dream once more”.

realizing that, in order for me to make this dream a reality, there are certain things I will need to establish before any new discovery, and so I started preparing a list of thoughts… maybe you should too!

1- I was not ready to engage in any other business ventures, but at the same time, I realized that I need to create a method to raise more money, and even-though I had the mindset of being retired ‘that of being with no bosses around to control my income’ I still needed to be realistic in terms of making money, so my first thought was, for me to find something I can do, learn or research.

2- I knew I had a set of skills, and so I listed everything down, not necessarily in details, but just enough to recognize and open potentials.

3- I started thinking out of the box, and trying to create instead of researching for something that has been already created, and thus I decided to try and find something to learn first, at least keep me focused on a goal, and with a little bit of willpower I can progress to something better. Positivity is KEY

4- I came to a realization that, since I do not want to engage in a new business venture for now, and I cannot find any Jobs that would match my credentials, and since I am practically on my retirement holiday, how about a new adventure!

5- I took my wife and traveled to a small island in the middle of nowhere, literally feeling far away from the world we know and feel everyday, and where the only thing we are able to do is to spend time on reflecting and relaxing, only to find myself starting to write, expressing different emotions, experiences, while realizing that writing is the best way for me to reflect and learn more from my mistakes (Finally there is a record to prove it :-)

From that moment on, I truly felt free, and thanks to Google and some well invested time to research, surfing a new cyber of this world, leading me to a new identity, one that I could even trust, without the need to meet or fit with anyone or anything else.

But How does it work…

Many-times, I wished that I could have a non-bias mediator, between me and my employers, or me and my employees, which only meant the risk of more resources with no guaranteed results, but here is where the beauty of online technologies surface, creating a medium where employees are guaranteed payments upon accomplishing work, and employers paying work fees to employees only when the work is truly done. Not only that, but you get to apply for jobs as an employee by competing on bidding and relaying on quality of work, and employers get to offer jobs and receive best bids on them from both financial and quality aspects.

But that is not all, once I was able to go through their guidelines on how to develop my work and income, I was already starting to obtain new skills, especially through applying to tasks related to things I liked doing the most and not only related to my education or level of experience, while being away from routinized tasks, and increasing my multitasking abilities, aside from having many helpful tools for both employees and employers, such as the wide range of available online tests for employees as a proof to their efficiency, and an effective documentation to different skills that covers what any employer needs or employee wants. I found it to be the best application to be introduced to any individual or group of individuals who are willing to catch up with the train of the inevitable domination of the online world. Because the only sense you get to feel from singing up with this network is truly “changing how the world works”.


Click on the above image to JOIN

The great thing about Odesk is the relatively easy use of the application. I have been through most online freelance networks and nothing offers the same flexibility, organization and potential that this network has, especially if you are new to the online world and want to change the potentials in the ways you want to make money now, or in the near future, but is still in general, a great tool for any online contractors looking for more variety of work and/or motivated skillful employees with results, history and most importantly “feedback’s” from employers on employees and vice versa.

I even enjoy engaging with their support and help system, either live through their application, or for a much more fun networking experience through their social media networks or Blogs and other links associated with this rich network, while having a powerful success element most businesses online or offline forget; a support team and management with attitudes that can only be described as a treat, while offering a structured and maintained platform for any individual to achieve goals based on effort, efficiency, organization and result, and if you’re wondering that you still need anything else, try contacting one of their “Happiness Engineers”.

To me that’s all what I really needed, to accomplish things; a holistic operational system that provides constant opportunities to me, as an Employee, contractor or Employer “it doesn’t matter anymore” because I finally have my manager, my accountant and employees, and I don’t even have a Desk.

Falafel For Thought

Posted: February 13, 2012 in Active Minority, Thinking negative doing positive
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Sometimes, people happen to attach certain foods and dishes to certain pleasant or bad memories, that’s probably more true when it comes to special cuisines, homemade childhood dishes, including delights, sweets and mind-blowing cravings ! Some people even prefer things that we may not like and others may dislike what we might like as well, especially foods that are attached to specific events in our lives, from traditional dishes related to cultural events to eventful meals all year round, and to me, Falafel is one of those eventful flirty delight pillars for my stomach’s ultimate satisfaction.

Lucky enough, I lived and studied close by a school which was a haven to many types of local restaurants and shops around its ambiance, to satisfy munchies of hungry and lusty students. But one advantage we had at that school was a famous local Falafel shop! famous because of having one of the best Falafel nibbles and appetizers anyone would crave during any moment of the day, especially moments like skipping class, sometimes for the whole day! just to hang out and about with school friends, trash talking teachers & the headmaster while creating specially designed and designated swearwords and nicknames that would fit their projected personalities, in the meantime… Checking out the females school on the other side of the wall. Sipping on hot tea under pouring rain, or a nice icy-chilled Mirinda under the hot and boiling sun, enjoying two, sometimes three Falafel sandwiches, sizzled with a teasing munch on cucumber pickles; but if we decided to hang out for a while more, knowing that two or three classes are carried out next, by oblivious teachers and educators, realizing we would be caught the next day by a demoralized headmaster and his fine thin and polished bamboo stick, aside from calling our parents over. “I did not pass by school that much, so my parents where only bothered in the couple of times I was arrested…I mean caught!!!

Wondering what could I have taken out from that experience! it must’ve been… after spending 12 years in the same school, I became part of that school, a mascot maybe, I could even pass as an administrator! And as long as I didn’t fail in any class, I was guaranteed a chair in the classroom. (I know what you are thinking…or not) I must’ve cheated, well… of course I did, among other things that I have learned, they tough me if I can get away with it, then its fine, realizing that fact in my own terms, since they do know me for a while now and I still do have a classroom chair filled with my books out there, its only natural that I keep on what I am doing! and even developed better techniques, instead of skipping school, I would attend! But wait for noon prayer times to come, the schools mosque gates open wide, one for the public, and one for school administrators like me ;-)

This is when I realized, this institution they call school is just not for me, it was boring, and the only fun was to create techniques to rebel against it, and hope to get out from that environment into something better…

fast forward a few years and many Falafel sandwiches later; walking dates between beautiful streets of the old town of Amman limestone houses, sharing a paper bag filled with Falafel teenage crunches. As I grew older, my Falafel stories became immense, crispy and delightful to satisfy other cravings, drifting away from firm textures of fried beans with smooth and silky homos topped with pine-nuts, pinches of ground cumin and virgin olive oil, my father tells me: “Get your mind off those Falafels” concentrate and tell me, what do you want to do with your life? I recall that day, after countless ring fights, sleepovers for a couple of weeks at friends houses, now I have to decide, he said: “Either you get a Job! Or you get proper education to hold as a key, he always talked about that ‘KEY’. The world functions that way, he said, or you have to develop a skill!

Fast forward a few more years to obtain some skills with occasional fading Falafel memories and corporate salads, searching for true meanings of life, filling my stomach with foods of culture from the east and the west, avoided raw food, and soaked with fried food, maybe I could satisfy my Falafel cravings, maybe I could have memories I could remember, but I kept remembering my fathers words: “Get your mind off those Falafels”! what do you want to do with your life?

I kept wondering about those skills that I must have, what kind of skills! I had no idea, does that mean I need to make something, create it with my own hands, what was it? tourism, customer service, supervisor, manager, CEO, what skill is he talking about? those need degrees… Alright, maybe I try higher studies to obtain more skills! maybe now they are different than those who came and claim to be educators.

Here we go again! back to school, but maybe this time, a little bit of more freedom! now I can take a train, a couple of days off work during the week, and all the Falafel sandwiches I can get on the way to my education, I still can remember the excitement of skipping work to go to school!

A couple of years go by, I obtained more knowledge “Go figure” only to realize that this was not the Job for me, I needed to leave! I realized I was a slave, and will never become that three lettered CEO, even with that degree, what to do? a question I always renewed while more years passed by, and less Falafel were eaten to satisfy, and like an addict on a spree, jumping in oil pans from trees.

Getting whiff scents of other cultures, wandering in worlds I never dare to be under. My Falafel craving was vanishing with sizzles of thickened oil and continuous wonder! It was time to change… I needed to break-free, I needed to be lost, but I still needed to find a new flavor with some sort of culture.

Bathing with spices of the orient, I stumble upon other beggared beans, white small kidney beans…I am emotionally allergic to those, I refused them then and I will refuse them now! I rebelled on them then, I can rebel on them now. but for some reason I dig into the past and  saw them crawling into my childhood mind, sneaking from the blissful hands of my mother, into my subconscious dishes.

I find my self away from all those thoughts… and Falafel cravings! accepting feeds of childhood cultures from true blissful hands, only then did I realize that, I am only what my parents made me! and no matter what culture, education, history, present or future you throw at me, my parents gave pillars to my subconscious culture.

And that’s how it shall begin…

An Active Minority Emancipation

Posted: December 3, 2011 in Active Minority, In search of Art & Nature, Testimonial, Travel, tourism & Me
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“The most important thing that’s happened to me in Chiang Mai is I’ve started to know who I am. I’ve started to realize why I exist.”

It was September 2011, when Chiang Mai culture began thoroughly percolating into Hussein Ghouleh’s sense of Self – transforming his life, eternally.

          “The moment I reached Chiang Mai, everything started to became clear,” says Hussein. “And when I started looking at this culture from the point-of-view of a Muslim, I related to my religion more than I ever could before.”

He felt, “peace.”

For a contextual window into Hussein’s mindset, he’s from Jordan in the Middle East – a location for which he harbors spirited sentiments related to how his worldview was moulded.

          Hussein proclaims that many aspects of his root system are based on “limitation,” which he maintains is about prescribing levels of personal production via education regarding religion and culture. Accordingly, he did feel part of a community, although “treated as a sheep – not (valued) for my potential.”

          While of course these cultural facets exist worldwide, Hussein – at the time of his initial arrival in Chiang Mai as an “Arab traveler” – “didn’t know if it was right or wrong.” Therefore, he naturally strove to make sense of his new-found environment by drawing from his prior life experiences. And this journey has been flip-flopping everything he had previously known about the world.

          “Why I really love Chiang Mai is because I literally feel like I can accomplish anything I want here and anything anyone would ask me to do,” said Hussein, while displaying a rich smile and a determined gaze. “Because I’ve finally realized that life is just one big, fat joke, and I’ve learned how to laugh.”

          “I’ll be honest,” he added. “Up until the moment I reached Chiang Mai, I was acting out of limitation and desperation…Now that I’m free, I can never go back.”

***

Hussein declares that the fundamental difference between his prior lifestyle and the one he’s now living in Chiang Mai is that his current environment is providing for a sturdy platform from which he’s envisioning a seemingly endless array of life opportunities. He feels liberated from norms related to social ranking, especially those to which he’s accustomed.

          He’s creating his own stick for which the carrot is attached, by life-nesting with his wife, Manami. They are both successfully indulging in a freelance work lifestyle, in a home tucked inside a dead-end street located on the western fringes of Chiang Mai.

          Here, Hussein is undergoing a series of personal growth journeys – including those related to patience, acceptance, responsibility and respect – that are nourishing both his external and internal worlds.

          The general social environment of Chiang Mai’s is offering him a “real education,” which he’s convinced is about being exposed to new information as well as adopting the behavioral traits of another culture. He thoroughly comprehends that a lifestyle in addition to the one to which he was accustomed is sustainable.

          “There are too many reasons why I’m in Chiang Mai,” said Hussein. However, “Upon arriving, I first noticed the people. Every person I dealt with was treating me for who I am as a person, which was a human being receiving a service; so, they gave it with a smile. Regardless if this smile was fake or not, it felt real.”

          Furthermore, he’s thoroughly inspired by the tenacity of local, common-folk Thai people, their resourcefulness and capacity for survival, while being seemingly immune to perpetual worry. They “accept life as it comes.”

          Hussein acknowledges these traits as a positive result of religion and culture. And these life philosophies are at the polar opposite of the ones he’s used to practicing. “It was never about the journey, always the destination.”

          Furthermore, “Most (Thais) are doing something to live, to operate, to function,” added Hussein (who confesses to speaking in broad generalities). “Whatever skills they have, they use them to their full potential. This is what Chiang Mai is. Even if they don’t have a (formal) education, they have something to rely on – a skill, and they’re not ashamed to use it.

          “What I have also noticed is they don’t put the personal-life factor up front. It’s a personal thing. It stays inside. ‘Whatever I do during the day, I don’t have to report it to anybody.’ There is no judgement.”

          Hussein, for the most part, feels “accepted” and “embraced” in Chiang Mai. He also believes that tranquility between humans can be cultivated if people acknowledge that when they are interacting with others – say, from a different country – they are actually interfacing with another culture.

          “They will then start to acknowledge that whatever this person is doing – which may seem weird or strange, but is normal to them – should be appreciated. It’s something of a self-reflection, like looking into the mirror.”

          An example of this is Hussein’s experiences while selling pita bread and sandwiches at a Chiang Mai street market. He felt free and welcomed, while receiving kind-hearted gazes and curious inquiries from both Thais and those from other countries. What astounded him most was the queries related to his levels of happiness. “This question, nobody, not even my father or mother or friends, have asked.”

          Hussein talks about “feeling rich when you are poor,” adding that a self-sufficient mentality assists with this. “The more I’ve started becoming a Chiang Mai resident, the more I feel that I’m obtaining (life) skills and really shouldn’t worry. I can do, anything.”

          He added that all of these overall factors related to Chiang Mai culture create an environment suitable for a plethora of personal backgrounds and opportunities.

***

Hussein coins a term for himself – an “active minority,” in the sense that he’s been active as a minority within every community of which he’s lived, whether related to his ethnic origins, or personal and professional backgrounds.

          Likewise, he’s diligently working towards providing inspiration and guidance for people searching for new challenges in their lives – willing to “break cultural and social boundaries to broaden their possibilities.” For Hussein, Chiang Mai is currently the “utopia, whatever this means,” for realizing this life vision.

          “The most important thing that’s happened to me in Chiang Mai is I’ve started to know who I am,” Hussein expressed firmly. “I’ve started to realize why I exist.”

          Hence, he feels “alive.”

          “I didn’t even stop for one second in my 30 years of living in the Arab world to look at a tree.” However, “I feel like this is year one for me. It’s like being in my childhood, as an adult.

          “I’m really taking care of myself now. Every day I wake up, I still get the same feeling that this is my first day in Chiang Mai…I really don’t know what will happen, or what I will be doing, but I am extremely excited.

Text and photography by Jeffrey Warner

(www.jeffsjournalism.com)

Kingdoms of Heaven

Posted: November 23, 2011 in Active Minority, Arabs & Culture
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Living in many parts of the Arabian desert, had its multiple and paramount consequences on my life, my health, even my imagination. Charmed with fake images of the world through TV screens, Internet, and corporate media, creating profound mental and subconscious images of the ‘unseen’, emerging in distinctive perceptions to my life in general.

When talking ‘for instance’ about a human-body organic function or process, including those of any other living creatures, with a blink of an eye! images of ‘children cartoon figures’ playing out the roll of specific organs or cells. For example, a discussion of sugar levels in the blood, sparks images of candy bars and tiny little M&Ms moving along subways of red plastic play-balls, like an exorbitant world of colorful kids playground. To me, that was, and still is, an exceptional version of reality, rather than the first-hand, disenchanting version of scientists and education faculties.

Much of my imagination is just about that! Shaping up a new world from within, different from that, expected of me! I even took the liberty in boosting my imagination. Creating, shaping and adding many facets and stems, from different bearings, to formulate a luscious brain cocktail feeding my mental agility. bounded with the reality of faulty colors, forcing me to use my own sense of luminosity.

Living in the Arabian desert, where no colors of green, no rivers or streams. Only colorless palm trees, with endless dunes and a sandy beach. Thinking of heaven when in hell! only brings my imagination to colors of nature I only saw through boxes and screens. To me, heaven was a land of color and trees, with endless rivers of honey and milky yoghourt streams, planted with countless apple trees!

I never knew, if I to swim those rivers, or drink from those streams! I don’t know how those apples tasted like. I was never invited to go there, they tell me, It is only an endless dream.

I come from a land of Christians, Jews, and Muslims, I was taught how to live in the land of kings and kingdoms of Heaven, but what I witnessed was, and still is an infernal Hell! They promised me a world of infinity, they told me, I will be an alias to a wonderland, they told me I will see colors again, and taste fruits that were forbidden.

How can I stay? when preachers of Heaven, create living Hells. How can I stay when ruling became a privilege and goodness became an exclusive trait. How can I stay? when hate is what they love to teach. How can I stay? when laughter becomes impolite. How can I stay? when they honor a Judas, and damn free wills.

They taught me, not to kill or rape, for this I would go to hell, but all they bear is a history filled with treason and murder one-another, under the name of each others ‘One God’.

Fathers raping daughters, behind dark closed doors, and brothers killing their virgin sisters to protect a fake honor.

They taught me to pray and worship the almighty, but all they do is worship Money. They tell me to respect them and their elderly, but all they do is demand with no sense of responsibility. They say religion is the solution for living, and life after death, with followers creating destruction and shortcut joys of living.

I can’t stay, I can’t just be. I can’t think of a fading life, I can’t beam to heaven, they don’t want me there, they don’t want me in their heavens.

In a Kingdom of smiles, my imagination mounts to unfold. I can see rivers and streams beyond a living nature, I can see bloodless living, but now I can’t look anymore. I can finally feel, I can embrace! I can finally begin to wonder; where did it come from? how? and why this kingdom? why those people. My past would say they’re infidels, they are not to respect or respond to anything! who taught them? who brain washed them?

To my past I say: Cant you learn, or cant you teach? Cant you do, or you just preach?

I don’t blame you, I truly don’t. We ask them to teach us, but they haven’t learn, we ask them to feed us, but they grew hunger and forbidden fruits.

You order us to follow, when you have no leader, you pose as servants of God, but you worship Lords of money. You tell the world ‘we will up-rise’, but only breed leper colonies. You’re bound by greed, hunger and fear, and rule with iron-grip a group of mindless sheep.

You teach them values of hate and race, and call it culture, with Kingdoms of a promised heaven paved by pure Hell.

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