People ascertain happiness with many colorful fashions, humbled in perceptions of reality, and frequently aligned with resource stability, the lack of it, or its excess’ consciously and unconsciously, scaling those elements with the social components of each society we live in.
All those standards deviate by gambling on cultures that harbor such emotions, towards the pursuit of happiness, and to define what really assembles a state of happiness or at least ‘the need to be happy’ requires polishing certain perceptions bordering our lives, the way we reflect on them, interpret them, their actions and reactions, in association with our minds and into our lives; thus the need to ask questions, and bid to answer them with the most qualified honesty we can reflect individually, and only by ourselves…
What does being happy mean to you?
In order to understand this question and how to self answer it, we need to drill and analyze all the elements that fabricate this state of mind, while considering the components we brand with unhappy feelings, relieving doubt in recognizing pros and cons of each aspect we underline our emotions with.
But, when we are on a high rise of positive emotions, such as happiness, we tend to drift away from current details and events that would have been missed while engaging with such an emotion, subsequently affecting any stability levels we always strive to sustain during that pursuit. I remember as a child, being invited to a Christmas day party hosted by one of my fathers friends. I was really happy, excited and certainly busy accepting Christmas gifts, while being oblivious to a chocolate cake served to my older brother and sister.
A few days later, and after the hype of Christmas was gone; all that I was thinking of is that chocolate cake I have presumably ignored, since then, no matter how pleasing and distinctive people give fact to their chocolate cakes, all my senses respond: “Not as pleasant and titillating as that Christmas Chocolate Cake!”.
So, why do we choose what brings us to a state of happiness?
The moment we award a child with a new substance; out goes every other matter at that distinctive moment, leading them to a habit of attaching emotions on whims, followed by a structured process of learning and education that is bound to change our priorities as we grow older, orbiting around elements that made, make or will make us or others happy, and in some cases, even happier!
The moment happiness is altered to become a choice, we lose control of it somewhere after it becomes a useful routine, we surrender to its ecstasy, only to acknowledge it when lost, thus bringing measurable values, by which, defeating the purpose of sustainable happiness…
Having said that, I acknowledged that happiness or being happy is a state of mind, even when sometimes, if not most of the times, we attach tangible elements to this blessedness, only to find ourselves surrendering to a well known illustrious compass.
Can we be happy beyond any attachments?
Each individual has certain ‘abilities’ that can empower them to do whatever they set their minds to accomplish, and for us to actualize the means to our happiness, we need to have a better realization and understanding to our limitations, accepting them, learn from them, cultivate, and then change or breach them…
That bring us to a facet of intelligence, but this time, its not the usual I.Q kind of intelligence; scientists have finally realized that levels of our intelligence is not formed by statistics, questions or numbers, but the ability to identify, asses and control our emotions, forming what scientists call emotional intelligence. According to them, this type of intelligence contributes to 80% in the probability of success and failure in our practical lives, and where traditional intelligence (I.Q) contributes with only 20%.
But in order for us to realize the potential of our emotional intelligence, we need to have certain abilities…
1- Our ability to realize and understand our private feelings:
Our capability in monitoring our psychological feelings as they occur, while understanding and realizing their cause, and appreciating their dimensions and fluctuations, are one of the most important pillars to develop our emotional intelligence. But when we are unable to understand such feelings and emotions when we encounter them, we become victims, like a hostage yielding under the mercy of our feelings and emotions, driven by fluctuations of surrounding circumstances and conditions.
But those who have a better understanding of their feelings, aware and confident with perceiving their emotions, are more able to manage and control their own lives, thus having more fortitude in their decisions.
2- Our ability to manage and control our psychological feelings:
This ability cannot be attained until we are fully able to realize and understand our private feelings as explained previously . People who are unable to accomplish control over their feelings are always in a psychological battle and under a lot of stress.
But those who are able to have more control over their emotions are always able to stand up after they have fallen and try again, especially when they do not succeed, by defeating all obstacles and setbacks, and re-initiating work with an optimistic soul, ambition and with a bright positive view on life.
3- Our ability to self motivate for work:
The ability to motivate ourselves, emotions and feelings to achieve goals while having complete control over impulses and desires, prioritizing work and delaying rest, are the most important factors to success, and the ability to engage at work with all emotions and feelings, are the most important factors of creativity.
4- Our ability to notice, understand and reflect on humane emotions and feelings in others:
The ability to sympathies is one of the most important factors of success in human relationships. People with high capacity of sympathy are able to capture simple social changes in people around them and have full ability to understand their psychological feelings, thus having better execution in many areas of work that requires human interaction.
5- Our ability to handle personal relationships and have control over them:
This ability is one of the main factors to success in life, a huge aspect of it, is the ability to control other people’s feelings (understanding their feelings and dealing with them).
This ability specifies how popular and accepted an individual really is, and their ability to lead. People with this ability are successful in everything they undertake with other people readily and easily, and are considered luminary in their fields of specialty.
On the other hand, many parents do not realize, know or acknowledge that those abilities begin to formulate in the early beginning of their child’s life, and what was then lost, neglected or suppressed are difficult to rectify in the years to follow. This is why successful parenting can build a child’s emotional intelligence towards a healthier and happier life.