Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’

An antithesis of Fear

Posted: May 21, 2012 in Awareness & Self Development
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Balance is a common destination in any action, reaction, motion, thought or emotion we embrace. When we look far and near within realities that we exist in, we can always preview examples of balance surrounding elements of our lives; whenever there is vile, you will find virtue, wherever death comes, you will find birth, and every darkness has a light.

As humans with constant fears in our lives, it is only wise to differentiate between two kinds of fears, according to their results and followed consequences; Negative fears that outgrew from physiological, psychological and mental chain reactions we discussed in the previous post. But there is positive fear to the equation that bestow more than physiological, mental and psychological benefits, including, but not limited to increasing activity and energy, that advocates for progress and success.

I already mentioned types of negative fears that can be inhabited by children through many false practiced methods included in their upbringing. But, what about positive fear? where can we define and find a positive approach to such ongoing dilemma, and before we go further in analyzing how to bargain a positive element in fear, we need to establish a need for such bargain, and since we are vulnerable towards facing our own fears, what can positive fear give to abolish such dilemma? can we create balance even with an emotion such as fear?

Personally, I consider the only element of a positive emotion opposing our ongoing fears can only be inspired by a divine power, some people might consider that to be a fierce leader, a king or even a spiritual master, but they can’t be more than sinful humans, just like any of us, with fears deeper than I could ever imagine (I could take a guess!). But if I to fear a divine power, it would be a righteous harmony to the one giving this mortal body an immortal soul, thus my restful will confides in an almighty fear, leading towards accomplished salutary, versed with powerful peace.

The main reason to this anomaly in fear of a divine power has its specifications and properties instilled in humans with a distinct quality, value and quantity, as well as conditions that cannot be accepted without it, nor would the outcomes be complete.

One of the main conditions to complete positive fear effects, is to accomplish the aim of our existence, whether by promoting, motivating and working towards righteous deeds and  rebuilding earth for what it lost, by defenders of falsehood, with that, fear becomes a positive force that motivates hardship, perfection, creativity and the emancipation of humans from earthly unjust constrains towards divine and just laws.

There are certainly many ways that we can seek to face our negative fears, some of us are even strong enough to face them by themselves, others deny them, and many were battered by them. But when employing the fear of a just divine power, we can only turn back and plea for its advocacy, such a balance can only lead to abolish all negative fears, against one mighty impartial fear.

Spiritual submission and plea have different effects from those out of negative fear, as it leads to physiological changes named (Parasympathetic) by medical scientists, deriving reduced blood pressure & heart beats, relaxes muscles and psychological, neural systems, which is exactly the opposite of what arises with negative fear.

If fear is allied with spiritual submission, balance is created between both of their effects, by protecting humans from negative outcomes that would happen, should one side becomes imbalanced with the other.

A Double Edged Sword

Posted: May 14, 2012 in Awareness & Self Development, Thinking negative doing positive
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Debates are a natural cause of having different point of views, and in many circumstances they end up with many loose ends, other times however, a developed shape of arguments can occur, either by disagreements, miscommunications and lack of hearing one another…

One night, I found myself being part of a debate, a table was there, different kind of drinks, an ashtray that has been put into good use, as the heat of discussion arises, it was as if we had our own miniature U.N meeting!

If women are to be leaders of this world, we won’t charter the wars we had and continue to have throughout the history of mankind!!!

at first and like most people around that table, had already agreed to this conclusion, without further elaboration…One can even say that, because women are more sensitive to issues of humanity, appointing women into leadership roles would have living effects to a more sensible world, others might even concur, that women have better judgment scales in many matters and situations than men, even statistically speaking, women proved to have better social judgments, and regardless if we agree to all, some or even none of the above, one must approach the subject from many different perspectives.

At first, we need to establish what reality we are dealing with when it comes to today’s leaders of the world…

“You gotta make the money first, then, when you get the Money, you get the power, when you get the Power, then you get the Women”

-Tony Montana (Movie:Scarface)

In a nutshell, he explained the hierarchy of thinking for most world leaders of today and throughout history. But that also explains the manly perspective of leadership!

What about women then? had they gotten their chance from the beginning of time to become Adam’s Eve, would they have done what men already did and continue to do, will they be driven by greed, only to become fanatics of power, to get us Men. Or will there be peace and harmony, like the one we find in our mothers, wife’s and maybe even our daughters, the future moms of tomorrow!

In theory, we have just about 200 countries in this world of today, again in theory, lets consider that Women are to be leaders of the world we know could exist, it would be fair to say, that a handful of countries would be led by Men, that in mind, I can only remember Tony’s remarkable theory on how to gain power for those scattered bunch. Was it money or women, I guess you’re the judge of that!!!

The fact is, we were and still are being a systematized gender racist human beings, we were brought up to live with racial profiling, and the ability to even imagine and embrace situations beyond racial discrimination, the fact is both genders have egos, rights and demands to be protected, and no matter how we flip the coin to see the answer, we always forget that the basis of successful conclusions is communications, mutual respect and understanding, once we are able to address issues with such attitudes and away from all the weaknesses we project on each other by profiling parties into different boxes.

History always had its funny ways of showing us how we always believe in absolute truths and proved us to be otherwise! For instance, the famous Titanic ship sank in the sea, when its makers had absolutely confirmed ‘on many occasions’ that, it would be impossible for this ship to sink! Hitting that iceberg and drowning its 2000+ passengers was like a check of reality on how things might go wrong with one simple ‘everyday’ expectation or judgment.

There were many studies made to understand the reasons why this ship sank, and many analysts directed the blame to the captain of the ship (Smith), refusing to accept any other excuse, since the captain has the higher hand and final decision taking abilities, and where being disobedient to his orders, are to be punishable by law.

So what are the captains mistakes in judgment of the dangers to sudden floating icebergs and the required time to correct the distentions direction once the iceberg was spotted? A question that still baffles many researchers, although a handful of them, believed that his long extensive experience of more than 40 years were one of the main  reasons of the captains mistakes.

How did that happen? How can experience work against its owner after it has worked in their benefit all those years. Experience comes as a result of concluding lessons and examples from events and situations!

In the case of dealing with recurrent situations and events connected to collaborative theories and inputs thus concluding a pattern or an example to deal with similar situations and events in the future.

With the increasing repeat of similar situations and events, roots out extracted examples and patters to form an essential mental and psychological reference in decision making similar to a hard drive in a computer. Experience plays a very efficient role in speeding the analysis of an event, situation or interaction to deal with, through viewing and comparing formed examples and patterns to the decision making references. The similarity in an event or a situation in incidents and past experiences, provides similar reaction, and here lies the danger!

When a similar event or situation occurred in past experiments and events, but is still different from them in theory or inputs of it occurrence, or when a totally different event or situation would happen with previous experiments and events, will overcome the decision maker’s psychological and mental references, originated as a result of their long experience, and so they interact with new events similar to the way they react to previous others, assuming the ability of new events or situations to respond to the previous reactions, and here where the disaster happens, and this is where analysts believe that what happened in the case of the sinking Titanic ship, where long experiences of captain smith was with totally different ships than this particular one, and depending on that experience, he believed that the ship can properly correct its direction within time of seeing any icebergs, but he misjudged, as this ship was not like any others he drove, different in its speed, size and manufacturing, thus being slit by the other edge of the sword.

If we bring to bear the Titanic destiny as a reflective example to our communities, we can crop up many valuable lessons.

Circumstances that governed the mid 70’s (the boom) in our communities, left us with experiences that has roots controlled by theories and inputs that belonged to that period of time. However, in the new millennium all those theories and inputs had severely changed, but the references that formed it and was deepened by years of the boom in people of experience, had more influence for it to go through any change, unable to keep up with the rapid speed of such developments, and so situations change and ships alter, governed and pushed to reached its goals with factors, reasons and motives, while leading the helm with old references originated as an outcome from experiences of those booming years.

And to come closer to the essence of the subject, I will provide one of many examples.

During those booming days, projects were conducted with less studies and regardless to any cost, in the fastest way possible, because it involved massive profits, adding the time factor being the most important for success, at those times.

In today’s world, time factor should be chartered to allocate unique, specific and clear strategies with detailed planning, conducting intensive studies and focusing on the development of the processes to conduct projects and business and have the ability to manage them, and to find the proper experiences to attract in order to form successful projects and raise the quality of performance and services, and enjoy becoming distinguished from competition.

Yes, Captain Smith’s long experience played a contradictory part, and instead of setting sail on port, it sat sail deep in the ocean, only within a couple of hours.

Are you Happy?

Posted: May 3, 2012 in Awareness & Self Development
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People ascertain happiness with many colorful fashions, humbled in perceptions of reality, and frequently aligned with resource stability, the lack of it, or its excess’ consciously and unconsciously, scaling those elements with the social components of each society we live in.

All those standards deviate by gambling on cultures that harbor such emotions, towards the pursuit of happiness, and to define what really assembles a state of happiness or at least ‘the need to be happy’ requires polishing certain perceptions bordering our lives, the way we reflect on them, interpret them, their actions and reactions, in association with our minds and into our lives; thus the need to ask questions, and bid to answer them with the most qualified honesty we can reflect individually, and only by ourselves…

What does being happy mean to you?

In order to understand this question and how to self answer it, we need to drill and analyze all the elements that fabricate this state of mind, while considering the components we brand with unhappy feelings, relieving doubt in recognizing pros and cons of each aspect we underline our emotions with.

But, when we are on a high rise of positive emotions, such as happiness, we tend to drift away from current details and events that would have been missed while engaging with such an emotion, subsequently affecting any stability levels we always strive to sustain during that pursuit. I remember as a child, being invited to a Christmas day party hosted by one of my fathers friends. I was really happy, excited and certainly busy accepting Christmas gifts, while being oblivious to a chocolate cake served to my older brother and sister.

A few days later, and after the hype of Christmas was gone; all that I was thinking of is that chocolate cake I have presumably ignored, since then, no matter how pleasing and distinctive people give fact to their chocolate cakes, all my senses respond: “Not as pleasant and titillating as that Christmas Chocolate Cake!”.

So, why do we choose what brings us to a state of happiness?

The moment we award a child with a new substance; out goes every other matter at that distinctive moment, leading them to a habit of attaching emotions on whims, followed by a structured process of learning and education that is bound to change our priorities as we grow older, orbiting around elements that made, make or will make us or others happy, and in some cases, even happier!

The moment happiness is altered to become a choice, we lose control of it somewhere after it becomes a useful routine, we surrender to its ecstasy, only to acknowledge it when lost, thus bringing measurable values, by which, defeating the purpose of sustainable happiness…

Having said that, I acknowledged that happiness or being happy is a state of mind, even when sometimes, if not most of the times, we attach tangible elements to this blessedness, only to find ourselves surrendering to a well known illustrious compass.

Can we be happy beyond any attachments?

Each individual has certain ‘abilities’ that can empower them to do whatever they set their minds to accomplish, and for us to actualize the means to our happiness, we need to have a better realization and understanding to our limitations, accepting them, learn from them, cultivate, and then change or breach them…

That bring us to a facet of intelligence, but this time, its not the usual I.Q kind of intelligence; scientists have finally realized that levels of our intelligence is not formed by statistics, questions or numbers, but the ability to identify, asses and control our emotions, forming what scientists call emotional intelligence. According to them, this type of intelligence contributes to 80% in the probability of success and failure in our practical lives, and where traditional intelligence (I.Q) contributes with only 20%.

But in order for us to realize the potential of our emotional intelligence, we need to have certain abilities…

1-      Our ability to realize and understand our private feelings:

Our capability in monitoring our psychological feelings as they occur, while understanding and realizing their cause, and appreciating their dimensions and fluctuations, are one of the most important pillars to develop our emotional intelligence. But when we are unable to understand such feelings and emotions when we encounter them, we become victims, like a hostage yielding under the mercy of our feelings and emotions, driven by fluctuations of surrounding circumstances and conditions.

But those who have a better understanding of their feelings, aware and confident with perceiving their emotions, are more able to manage and control their own lives, thus having more fortitude in their decisions.

2-      Our ability to manage and control our psychological feelings:

This ability cannot be attained until we are fully able to realize and understand our private feelings as explained previously . People who are unable to accomplish control over their feelings are always in a psychological battle and under a lot of stress.

But those who are able to have more control over their emotions are always able to stand up after they have fallen and try again, especially when they do not succeed, by defeating all obstacles and setbacks, and re-initiating work with an optimistic soul, ambition and with a bright positive view on life.

3-      Our ability to self motivate for work:

The ability to motivate ourselves, emotions and feelings to achieve goals while having complete control over impulses and desires, prioritizing work and delaying rest, are the most important factors to success, and the ability to engage at work with all emotions and feelings, are the most important factors of creativity.

4-      Our ability to notice, understand and reflect on humane emotions and feelings in others:

The ability to sympathies is one of the most important factors of success in human relationships. People with high capacity of sympathy are able to capture simple social changes in people around them and have full ability to understand their psychological feelings, thus having better execution in many areas of work that requires human interaction.

5-      Our ability to handle personal relationships and have control over them:

This ability is one of the main factors to success in life, a huge aspect of it, is the ability to control other people’s feelings (understanding their feelings and dealing with them).

This ability specifies how popular and accepted an individual really is, and their ability to lead. People with this ability are successful in everything they undertake with other people readily and easily, and are considered luminary in their fields of specialty.

On the other hand, many parents do not realize, know or acknowledge that those abilities begin to formulate in the early beginning of their child’s life, and what was then lost, neglected or suppressed are difficult to rectify in the years to follow. This is why successful parenting can build a child’s emotional intelligence towards a healthier and happier life.