Posts Tagged ‘work’

My first actual holiday from work was to Thailand, and at that time, I was still a co-founder of a hospitality and tourism company in Dubai, and it was the first time I’d be traveling with a partner -she later became my wife, it was even her suggestion to visit Thailand. And since we were just about to have a birth of a company after 3 years of labor, between licensing and financing, hiring and firing, arguing and planning, hustling and getting hustled, celebrating all that with a nice holiday came just in time.

Welcome to the North of Thailand

Flashing back to the moment where I laid eyes on raw and fruitful nature for the first time, contemplating with a background of an arid mind, it became a fantasy to have fresh breaths of air on constant basis, and allow the variety of bird dins be the background a cappella of my daily lifestyle, on top of that, I began wondering in my want; a complete privacy with this rich aura, no people! Nothing against people of course, but city life, to me, was becoming fastened with misused freedoms, from car pollution, noise, and what have you! while the visual pollution of it all, became a daily dull theme.

That being said and thought, with a couple of travel inspection visits later; there we were, a couple of people with nothing but backpacks on our backs, a budget barely enough to survive a couple of months ‘where we used to live’ but can wondrously sustain a year of attach-free life for us elsewhere!!! I wondered, because of the enormous ignorance from my part towards survival methods. All I knew was, in able to develop and survive I had to have a job, and in order to identify with myself, I had to have a job title, many things depended on both those terms, without them, I was a nobody, or at least I would become a nobody, that’s what I believed, especially living in countries where the first thing you would be asked after your name is, what do you do? or, where do you work?, and by taking for granted that anyone we meet should have a clear and straight forward answer to those questions, and I did, I had the best answer for them, or at least, I thought I did!

Three years later, I would have never guessed that an innermost thought of fantasy would become a reality that accommodates a conscious need of becoming totally free to do what I want, when I want it. But now that my fantasies and dreams have become facts , I am constantly challenged with a new pleasing dilemma on how to manage all of that freshly created time, filled with endless possibilities, interest, cravings and lusts.

Our freedom space

Of course, I appreciate the comforts of every day routine, the security of the familiar and the tranquility of repetition, I enjoy them as much as anybody! But in the spirit of accomplishment, I kept stepping in traps of detachment with anything related to habitual actions…

For instance, I was always reluctant to wake up for school or work every morning, not because I was a night owl, well! that maybe true on occasion, but because my mornings would be to please others, and also end up bearing more responsibilities in continuation of pleasing others by night, wither it was studying whatever am suppose to do tests for, and if not, socializing with people who are only interested with what I had to offer within the limits of a job I have taken. My entire day was owned by anyone excluding myself, and every time I realized that, I end up letting go in sake of a fresh start.

But even with my annual fresh beginnings, I kept falling under the same phases of detachment, and when I got the big career break, all phases of detachment became one major pain in the ass. Why? because I seek quick fixes, and in this case, it was a premature leap of faith towards making a difference, ending up to realize that change needs more than just experience, and the desire to do so.

In the center, me and my previous answer

Failing to accomplish what I had in mind was the best thing that could ever happen to me, because when I failed, I had to try again and again, till I got it, and maybe learn something new, but this time, it was different, this time I failed and was forced to pull the plug on any job opportunity to come. Why? because I realized that working for or with others does not get me to where I need to be, it gets my employers and partners where they need to be, and always left me with crumbs of success, or shitload of failures. And that was fine, it was a natural process to my inexperience with life and how to live it, and that is why I needed to become inexperienced with what I already am experienced with.

One thing was for sure, I never really applied my human self that much, I mean, sure I did some good things and helped here and there whenever the mood struck. But If I were to identify with myself as a human being, I can’t say that I did much in that area, and instead of going through reason and blame, I had to begin to engage with myself first, and engage with life as am suppose to do, like a human being. Thus I begin my journey with no limits, and take each day as a learning curve, using nothing but nature and the natural order that comes from it.

“The most important thing that’s happened to me in Chiang Mai is I’ve started to know who I am. I’ve started to realize why I exist.”

It was September 2011, when Chiang Mai culture began thoroughly percolating into Hussein Ghouleh’s sense of Self – transforming his life, eternally.

          “The moment I reached Chiang Mai, everything started to became clear,” says Hussein. “And when I started looking at this culture from the point-of-view of a Muslim, I related to my religion more than I ever could before.”

He felt, “peace.”

For a contextual window into Hussein’s mindset, he’s from Jordan in the Middle East – a location for which he harbors spirited sentiments related to how his worldview was moulded.

          Hussein proclaims that many aspects of his root system are based on “limitation,” which he maintains is about prescribing levels of personal production via education regarding religion and culture. Accordingly, he did feel part of a community, although “treated as a sheep – not (valued) for my potential.”

          While of course these cultural facets exist worldwide, Hussein – at the time of his initial arrival in Chiang Mai as an “Arab traveler” – “didn’t know if it was right or wrong.” Therefore, he naturally strove to make sense of his new-found environment by drawing from his prior life experiences. And this journey has been flip-flopping everything he had previously known about the world.

          “Why I really love Chiang Mai is because I literally feel like I can accomplish anything I want here and anything anyone would ask me to do,” said Hussein, while displaying a rich smile and a determined gaze. “Because I’ve finally realized that life is just one big, fat joke, and I’ve learned how to laugh.”

          “I’ll be honest,” he added. “Up until the moment I reached Chiang Mai, I was acting out of limitation and desperation…Now that I’m free, I can never go back.”

***

Hussein declares that the fundamental difference between his prior lifestyle and the one he’s now living in Chiang Mai is that his current environment is providing for a sturdy platform from which he’s envisioning a seemingly endless array of life opportunities. He feels liberated from norms related to social ranking, especially those to which he’s accustomed.

          He’s creating his own stick for which the carrot is attached, by life-nesting with his wife, Manami. They are both successfully indulging in a freelance work lifestyle, in a home tucked inside a dead-end street located on the western fringes of Chiang Mai.

          Here, Hussein is undergoing a series of personal growth journeys – including those related to patience, acceptance, responsibility and respect – that are nourishing both his external and internal worlds.

          The general social environment of Chiang Mai’s is offering him a “real education,” which he’s convinced is about being exposed to new information as well as adopting the behavioral traits of another culture. He thoroughly comprehends that a lifestyle in addition to the one to which he was accustomed is sustainable.

          “There are too many reasons why I’m in Chiang Mai,” said Hussein. However, “Upon arriving, I first noticed the people. Every person I dealt with was treating me for who I am as a person, which was a human being receiving a service; so, they gave it with a smile. Regardless if this smile was fake or not, it felt real.”

          Furthermore, he’s thoroughly inspired by the tenacity of local, common-folk Thai people, their resourcefulness and capacity for survival, while being seemingly immune to perpetual worry. They “accept life as it comes.”

          Hussein acknowledges these traits as a positive result of religion and culture. And these life philosophies are at the polar opposite of the ones he’s used to practicing. “It was never about the journey, always the destination.”

          Furthermore, “Most (Thais) are doing something to live, to operate, to function,” added Hussein (who confesses to speaking in broad generalities). “Whatever skills they have, they use them to their full potential. This is what Chiang Mai is. Even if they don’t have a (formal) education, they have something to rely on – a skill, and they’re not ashamed to use it.

          “What I have also noticed is they don’t put the personal-life factor up front. It’s a personal thing. It stays inside. ‘Whatever I do during the day, I don’t have to report it to anybody.’ There is no judgement.”

          Hussein, for the most part, feels “accepted” and “embraced” in Chiang Mai. He also believes that tranquility between humans can be cultivated if people acknowledge that when they are interacting with others – say, from a different country – they are actually interfacing with another culture.

          “They will then start to acknowledge that whatever this person is doing – which may seem weird or strange, but is normal to them – should be appreciated. It’s something of a self-reflection, like looking into the mirror.”

          An example of this is Hussein’s experiences while selling pita bread and sandwiches at a Chiang Mai street market. He felt free and welcomed, while receiving kind-hearted gazes and curious inquiries from both Thais and those from other countries. What astounded him most was the queries related to his levels of happiness. “This question, nobody, not even my father or mother or friends, have asked.”

          Hussein talks about “feeling rich when you are poor,” adding that a self-sufficient mentality assists with this. “The more I’ve started becoming a Chiang Mai resident, the more I feel that I’m obtaining (life) skills and really shouldn’t worry. I can do, anything.”

          He added that all of these overall factors related to Chiang Mai culture create an environment suitable for a plethora of personal backgrounds and opportunities.

***

Hussein coins a term for himself – an “active minority,” in the sense that he’s been active as a minority within every community of which he’s lived, whether related to his ethnic origins, or personal and professional backgrounds.

          Likewise, he’s diligently working towards providing inspiration and guidance for people searching for new challenges in their lives – willing to “break cultural and social boundaries to broaden their possibilities.” For Hussein, Chiang Mai is currently the “utopia, whatever this means,” for realizing this life vision.

          “The most important thing that’s happened to me in Chiang Mai is I’ve started to know who I am,” Hussein expressed firmly. “I’ve started to realize why I exist.”

          Hence, he feels “alive.”

          “I didn’t even stop for one second in my 30 years of living in the Arab world to look at a tree.” However, “I feel like this is year one for me. It’s like being in my childhood, as an adult.

          “I’m really taking care of myself now. Every day I wake up, I still get the same feeling that this is my first day in Chiang Mai…I really don’t know what will happen, or what I will be doing, but I am extremely excited.

Text and photography by Jeffrey Warner

(www.jeffsjournalism.com)

Have you ever done a selfless act of good well to a close friend or a random acquaintance? and when I say selfless, it means providing an assistance, advice, guidance, or just simple plain encouragement to a person, without hidden reasons or interests, and is done as an act of good well purely.Unfortunately, in this day and age, relationships are becoming more about mutual interests than genuine code of ethics in doing good to people of all kinds and natures, and more importantly based on love and respect at all times.

Earlier today I had an amazing 3 hours video chat conversation with one of my good old friends who I know from when I was working in Saudi Arabia in 2003. An interesting 2 years I have spent in Khobar / eastern Saudi parts sharing boarders with the Kingdom of Bahrain. Naturally, being in Saudi, and specifically khobar area, you spend your weekends mainly in Bahrain since its only a 45 minutes drive from religious ruling to the exact extreme opposite, hoping to feel a bit of life outside the walls of desert, especially singles such as my good old friend.

This guy, like few lucky others had the chance to see the world, covering Latin America, all of Europe, and some parts of Asia. As someone based in Saudi, unfortunately the cultural and social boundaries in Saudi, prevents you to enjoy the same amount of freedom when you travel outside of Saudi boarders, to the fact that it feels more like you’re out from jail on prowl, and you even have to get an exist re-entry visa every time you need to leave the country for ANY reason. Then you look back, and you realize that you  have advanced in life, you have advanced in your career, you get to travel and see the world, but you keep on going back to your home, either wishing for more vacation, but there is no money, or you basically have money and you rebook those short weekend trips to a relatively more flexible social & culture tolerance are available.

We went on talking about how he was looking for safety and security thru his career advancement, and the realization that regardless how much efforts he has to put in order to make enough money to survive. survive! like its almost the end.

When we talk about survival, the first image that comes to my mind is a person who tries to stay alive, living on a piece of bread, and a glass of water as a dip. We went on to find a closure to my friend survival issues, which eventually resulted to a conclusion, shared by a great entrepreneur called James altucher.

According to Mr. Altucher, 90% of people “Should” quit their jobs, and he gave 10 reasons for recognizing if now is the right time for you to leave. But that’s a little different than saying, you have to quit right now.

But the reality is, most people need to begin their exit strategy RIGHT NOW

Leap and the net will catch you

So here’s 7 reasons of them, why you need to quit your job right now.

1)      Safety. We used to think you get a corporate job, you rise up, you get promoted, maybe you move horizontally to another division or a similar company, you get promoted again, and eventually you retire with enough savings in your bank social security account. That’s all gone. That myth disappeared in 2008. It really never existed but now we know it’s a myth. Corporate CEOs kept their billion dollar salaries and laid off about 20 million people and sent the jobs to China. Fine, don’t complain or blame other people. But your job is not safe.

2)      Their boss. Most people don’t like their boss. Its like any relationship. Most of the time you get into a relationship for the wrong reasons. Eventually you’re unhappy. And if you don’t get out, you become miserable and scarred for life.

3)      Fear. We have such a high unemployment rate, people are afraid if they leave the job they are miserable at, they won’t be able to get a job. This is true if you just walk into your boss’s office and pee on his desk and get fired.  But its not true if you prepare well.

4)      The Work. Most people don’t like the work they do. They spend 4 years going to college, another few years searching for the right opportunity, and then they think they have to use that lT degree, business degree, finance degree and then guess what? They hate it. But they don’t want to admit it. They feel guilty.

5)      Bad things happen. All the stuff I mention in the post start to happen. And it gets worse and worse. You don’t want to look back at your life and say, “man, those were the worst 45 years of my life.” That wouldn’t feel good.

6)      The economy is about to boom.  I don’t care if you believe this or not. Stop reading the newspaper so much. The newspapers are trying to scare you. the US just printed up a trillion dollars and airlifted it onto their economy. Who is going to scoop that up. You in your cubicle? Think again.

7)   Your job has clamped your creativity. You do the same thing every day. You want to be jolted, refreshed, rejuvenated.

Note: some people love their jobs. This is not for them but the 90% who don’t.

So: My good old friend asked a good question: you still need to support yourself, you still need to support your family, you can’t just walk into your boss’s office and quit.

Good point. You need to prepare. Its like training for the Olympics if you feel now is the time to move on from your job. You need to be physically ready, emotionally (don’t quit your job and get divorced on the same day for instance), mentally (get your idea muscle in shape) and spiritual all ready. It may seem easy to talk about preparation. like any goal needs to be achieved successfully, there are different circumstances that can effect the preparation process, and that is why you cant risk losing more time, and you have to leap before more time is lost, and the net will catch you my friend.

Apart from the necessary preparation, an individual’s self confidence as well as courage plays a big part in the process. unfortunately, due to promoting and selling the concept of success by our failed educational system, and where they forget that studying your losses is infinitely more valuable than studying your wins.

Failure is necessary and essential as success in the life of any individual, and I can thankfully say I tasted many flavors of failure in my life, and few blissful success stories as a result of learning from “my”, as well as “others” failures. As I talked along, on the breaking point of my friends life, where he started to want and need to break-free. Discussing the different possibilities that he could do in order to be better prepared when the time comes for him to LEAP.

I was happy, and thankful that my friend trusted me in providing him with proper advice, and will be happy to later provide him with the guidance he requires for his quest in breaking boundaries, and I thought I should share some of the points Mr. altucher identified to better prepare yourself for the future, and provide more guidance. it is needed to say here that Mr. Altucher considered the points below as the best alternatives for “college” as well.

1) Travel the world. Here’s a basic assignment. Take $10,000 and get yourself to India. Check out a world completely different from our own. Do it for a year. You will meet other foreigners traveling. You will learn what poverty is. You will learn the value of how to stretch a dollar. You will often be in situations where you need to learn how to survive despite the odds being against you. If you’re going to throw up you might as well do it from dysentery than from drinking too much at a party. You will learn a little bit more about oriental cultures. You will learn you aren’t the center of the universe. Knock yourself out.

2) Create art. Spend a year learning how to paint. Or how to play a musical instrument. Or write 5 novels. Learn to discipline yourself to create. Creation doesn’t happen from inspiration. It happens from perspiration, discipline, and passion. Creativity doesn’t come from from God. Its a muscle that you need to learn to build. Why not build it while your brain is still creating new neurons at a breathtaking rate than learning it when you are older (and for many people, too late).

3) Make people laugh (this is not for Jordanians). This is the hardest of all. Spend a year learning how to do standup-comedy in front of people. This will teach you how to write. How to communicate. How to sell yourself. How to deal with people who hate you. How to deal with the psychology of failure on a daily basis. And, of course, how to make people laugh. All of these items will help you later in life much more than Philosophy 101 will. And, by the way, you might even get paid along the way.

4) Write a book. Believe me, whatever book you write at the age of 18 is probably going to be no good. But do it anyway. Write a novel about what you are doing instead of going to college. You’ll learn how to observe people. Writing is a meditation on life. You’ll live each day, interpret it, write it. What a great education!

5) Work in a charity. Plenty of charities do not require you to have a college degree. What is going to serve you better in life: taking in different experiences that can enhance your global knowledge as well as  getting your skills sharpen. I have an answer to this. You might have a different one. Which is why I’m listing 7 alternatives here instead of just this one. And, by the way, if you do any of these items for a year, two years, maybe ten, then maybe go to college? Why not? Its your life.

6) Master a game: What’s your favorite game? Ping pong? Chess? Poker? Learning how to master a game is incredibly hard. I’ve written before how to do it but lets start with the basics:

  1. study the history of the game
  2. study current experts on the game. videos, books, magazines, etc. Replay, or try to imitate in some way, the current masters of the game
  3. Play a lot: with friends, in tournaments, at local clubs, etc.
  4. take lessons from someone who has already mastered the game. This helps you to avoid bad habits and gets someone to immediately criticize your current skills.

Mastering a game builds discipline, lets you socialize with other people of all ages and backgrounds but who have similar passions, and helps you to develop the instincts of a killer without having to kill anyone. Nice!

7)Master a sport: Probably even better than mastering a game because its the same as all of the above but you also get in shape.

If anyone can think of any other alternatives, please list them in the comments. We only have the life we have lived. And I always sit and daydream, ‘what if..’, ‘what if..’ Its the easiest and most dangerous meditation to do: what if. Because that wish is like a wisp of smoke that can twist and turn until we disappear along with it. But as I write this post I look at these alternatives with longing and I know that when I hit “Publish” I’m going to sit here quietly while the sun goes down, wondering only about ‘what if’.